Reflections

Experts identify waves or stages of mourning that manifest as different thoughts and feelings, but their models fail to acknowledge that these waves arise within a greater ocean that is not an emotion but a prolonged state of shock. Although loss precipitates all kinds of emotional reactions, grief itself is not one. Rather, it is the background of them all, the agonizing sense that something vital has gone missing or been stolen, as the etymology of bereavement (from be + reafian "rob, plunder") suggests. John Bowlby studied loss and attachment very closely. In an institutional setting where toddlers were separated from their mothers for extended periods, he and his colleague James Robertson observed how a lively, healthy child gradually moves from a state of agitation to ornery rebellion to, finally, a state of complete despondency when he loses all hope of his mother's return. The team collated their findings into a poignant documentary called A two-year-old goes to ho...

Whatever you encounter, either within or without, slay it at once: on meeting a buddha slay the buddha ~Linji I meet the Buddha everywhere in the solemnity of sangha ritual in my own sitting reverent in my feigned humility before my teacher in my desiring heart’s desire craving, thirsting Buddha everywhere Buddha! God, Father, Robber on the road You drop me to my knees fearful and trembling Now that I’ve raised You up I’ll spit on you “Buddha is a shit stick” “Kill the Buddha” Say NO to Buddha That's what the masters say

The Fifth Vow Before those who walk with me And those who have already walked Before all beings living and non-living Before my teacher Who has lit the way: I vow this day to stay awake Body, speech and mind For the rest of my life That every one of my breaths sustain the rising sun Of perfect awareness, That every step I take be humble as a bow, That I know each moment to be the expression of complete wholeness, Sure of this Light that nothing can extinguish Because it has shined since before the beginning of time, That fear and uncertainty crumple like paper in the flames Of this most precious gift: To stay awake I devote myself entirely and with gratitude To unceasingly fulfill the four vows. Le cinquième vœu Devant vous qui cheminez avec moi Devant tous ceux qui ont cheminé avant nous Devant tous les êtres, Devant mon maître Qui a éclairé la voie: Je fais vœu aujourd’hui de rester éveillée De parole, de corps et d’esprit, Pour le reste de mes jours : Que chacun de mes souffles ...

Tired with all these, for restful death I cry, As to behold desert a beggar born ~ William Shakespeare I am now capable of feeling humiliated, vexed, without any other feeling in me than the feeling of this state, and of remaining there motionless, my understanding having wiped out my reflex attempts at flight. ~Hubert Benoit  What should I do when I have been humiliated, violated or disgraced by someone else’s actions? Does it make any difference whether the action was intentional, or not? Objectively, there isn’t any difference. That is why, from a karmic point of view, one is responsible for the consequences of even unconscious actions. Subjectively, however, at the level of intentionality, there is a difference. When a harmful action is undertaken knowingly or, worse, deliberately, then, in addition to being responsible for its consequences, one is morally accountable as well. When I trip over someone’s foot, it is relatively easy for me to pick myself up, brush off the incide...

The torch of chaos and doubt -- this is what the sage steers by. (Chuang Tzu) Homage to all seekers! A prayer for sesshin Lord, have mercy, give me Doubt! That my cup o’erfloweth with the fire of my own thirst Until I am thoroughly drenched with my own torment Bewildered but unlost The ship the shout the step away From One divided Amidst the bedlam and confusion Into the gap between exile and home Pray I hear The sound of silence Sing the ocean’s silver starried hush And be myself The hallowed hum of OM

O spring like crystal! If only, on your silver surface, you would suddenly form the eyes I have desired, which I bear sketched deep within my heart. ~John of the Cross Spiritual Canticle The myth of Narcissus tells the story of a beautiful young man courted by many women but incapable of returning the affection of even one. The goddess Nemesis takes pity on one of his rejected suitors and determines that Narcissus should fall in love with himself and remain unable to reciprocate, thus cursing him with the unrequited love that had afflicted his cortege of spurned lovers. The next time Narcissus catches a glimpse of his reflection in a pond, lo and behold, he is transfixed by the sight of himself. Enamored by his own appearance, he cannot leave the pond and perishes trying to embrace his elusive reflection on the water. This myth is about conceit. It was conceit that prevented Narcissus from loving anyone and conceit that, in the end, led him to embrace a mirage. Conceit comes from t...

The way out of suffering is through it ~anonymous Shame is the flip side of pride. You cannot experience one without the other. We defend against shame as a threat to our integrity, as though it could consume us like flames. It even feels that way as it creeps up into our faces or down into our bodies, curling us up at the edges and setting our cheeks ablaze. We want to hide from its gaze branding us contemptible. What we wouldn't do to douse the fire of its judgment ripping through us like a meal! Yet the more we fight it, the more we stoke the fire by feeding it pride, what the Greeks called hubris . And like in many a Greek tragedy, it is this which precedes my eventual and total downfall. And I will remain alienated until my pride is leveled, until my nose touches the ground, and fear, fight and frenzy, exhausted, bite the dust. And the fire goes out. Not by pride but by humility are we delivered from shame. As TS Eliot writes: Do not let me hear Of the wisdom of old...