Reflections

I can't breathe ~ George Floyd Resistance means " to take a stand against, oppose ".  In physics, it is a drag force (air resistance) or opposition to the current flow (electrical resitance). Effective resistance requires power. It doesn't just protest what is happening. The person pictured to the right, for example, is protesting but, standing in front of tanks, he is at the mercy of the guys driving them. Brave perhaps, but futile if they decide to run him over. Protest and resistance are both forms of opposition. But only resistance wins wars. Now it could be argued that protest is powerful in that it exerts moral pressure.  This may be so, but it has to come from within the ranks. There is no way, if men don't take a stand against the denigration of women, that women will get very far by protesting it themselves. There is no way, if bystanders don't confront bullies, that victims will be able to stop harassment. There is no way, if white fol...

Light seeking light, doth light of light beguile ~Shakespeare, Love's Labours Lost We are seekers of the light!  For guidance, warmth, purpose and direction, we long for the light and are attracted to it. But sometimes, for lack of vision, we cannot see the very thing dividing us from it. Like the poor fly illustrated here, we can get stuck on a window and die there, headed for freedom but never leaving our self-made prison. This is denial.  Like an  inivisible wall (or window) separating us from what we seek, we are drawn to the light without seeing what is literally right in front of our faces. We refuse to try another route, get away, go around... exhausting ourselves by ignoring what our pain sensors are telling us.  It doesn't work. Then there is false light, artifical sources of light that throw lightbeams in every direction, confusing those of us who are phototaxic, that is, who are oriented to light, which would be all of us.  We become like tho...

A little water clears us of this deed ~ Lady Macbeth I'm going to be more careful about spreading my germs. I have probably got others sick by going out when I was unwell. I have probably also got them sick when I was contagious without knowing it. So I'm going to be more careful from now on; staying as clean as I can and keeping my distance. I will undoubtedly fall into careless patterns again. It's the human condition. So, aside from making amends, I'm going to ask forgiveness for not being able to stay clean and for spreading my germs, as well as forgive others for spreading theirs. That doesn't mean slackening a boundary, at least not intentionally. It actually means firming it up while also knowing it's bound to loosen.  I will give and receive compassionate cleansing.

Metanoia is a transformative change of heart.  The term suggests repudiation, change of mind, repentance, conversion and atonement. ~ Wikipedia There's an AA riddle that asks: If there are three frogs on a log and two decide to jump, how many are left on the log?  The answer of course is three, because they only  decided . (They never jumped). A lot of people I know, including myself, get trapped in self-destructive habits. They know what to do but don't do it.  They don't even  feel like doing it, let alone take that leap of faith. In order to break the cycle of passivity, action is clearly required. But where do you get the courage?  How do you go from head to heart?  They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I think it's  through his feet . In Seligman's experiments on learned helplessness , a group of dogs was yoked to another group learning how to avoid electrical shocks.  The yoked group received sho...

Pray you now; forgive and forget ~ William Shakespeare (King Lear) When a person has been betrayed, it is common to seek transparency and disclosure of the truth.  This appeals to our anxious brain hoping to stabilize disturbing emotions in knowledge and facts. What often happens, however, is that every detail teases out the desire to know more, and the quest for truth becomes a twisted and torturous rabbit hole of unanswered questions.  Rather than putting the pain of transgression behind, it gets fleshed out and remembered even more. The truth can sometimes be liberating. So can telling the story of our pain.  But, in some cases, like when you have been betrayed by a loved one, repeating the story of betrayal over and over is not going to set you free. Only forgiveness can do that.  And true forgiveness entails forgetting.  Not forgetting what is right and just, or abandoning the expectation of amends in your relationship going forward, but ceasing...

What kind of lunatic would come back here once he'd escaped?  There were now so many pink and yellow specks in my vision, it was as if I were inside a snow globe. ~ Tara Westover; Educated We are empathic to survivors of trauma we can see; to war vets who have witnessed the slaying of comrades, policemen who have found strewn corpses in a murder scene, survivors of acts of terrorism on the ground or in the sky. We feel for them and understand how the pain of regurgitated memories can prick and ruin the surface of ordinary life. But it is harder to feel for those whose trauma is inscribed in the folds of the unconscious or in the collective body of previous generations.  We fail to understand how sexual abuse (no matter how "small") can permanently move the boundary between self and other, or how African Americans, Native Americans, women and Jews can still be impacted by the horror visited upon their ancestors.  Violations of the soul lead to blind spots where a...

Proof lies on him who asserts, not on him who denies ~ Julius Paulus Prudentissimus I am selfish and social. Invisible to how my actions may look to you, I see clearly your every false move And seek justice and revenge Feeling intensely the results of your misconduct Yet knowing nothing of how my own misdeeds affect you. I am the victim, Born to justify and excuse myself, exercising perfect judgment When it comes to my own freedom More than I will ever be able to pardon you yours. I am not pointing the finger at you. I am looking at myself.