Reflections

 See the fowls of the air: they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they? (Mathhew 6:26) Like one in water crying I thirst (Hakuin; Chant in Praise ofZazen) There’s a leak in the roof and a crack in the foundation.   You’re single and alone with no money and two kids to feed.   You have no idea what you’re going to do.   It’s a disaster and you just want to die. There are two things I’ve found helpful in these kinds of situations.    The first is to expect that things will get worse before they get better.   I am not sure why this is but, when you expect that things can’t possibly get any worse, they usually do.   It’s a bit like when you’re in a heat wave and the forecast keeps promising thunderstorms to break the oppressive humidity but the rain never comes and the air just keeps getting heavier and heavier.   As the days go by...

 It’s not hard to find the truth.  What’s hard is not running away from it once you’ve found it. ~ anonymous     “This is not a social occasion!” barked the old man as he gripped his nyoi* .  I had just fumbled through the ritual of closing the door and bowing to him while nearly decapitating his cat.  The cat had wanted to come into the room and I was not sure if this was Zen protocol so I hesitated before I firmly shut the door, nearly taking his poor head off.  This was the first time I had ever entered dokusan and I was nervous to meet the teacher.  I wanted him to help me with my practice but was told that I must don the robes and bow to him before seeking his counsel.  I complied out of necessity.  When my new teacher mistook my embarrassed smile for an attempt to recover social decorum, I felt deeply humiliated.  I just wanted to get on with the interview and get enlightened.  If this Zen moment ha...