Reflections

It is an extraordinary human ability to be able to shift from being me-focused to other-focused.   This can happen spontaneously like in an emergency when, without thinking, we put ourselves aside for someone else or, on a more regular basis, when we cannot rest knowing another is in pain.  This is compassion or sympathy, the human ability to suffer with another. As quickly as we may open to others, we can snap shut again in an instant.   We turn away from others’ pain and shut down to feeling.   This is indifference or apathy- a form of ignoring others (literally, “not knowing” them).  As much as this may preserve individual survival at times and perhaps, even, our bliss, ignorance causes tremendous suffering to others . The Buddhist god of compassion, Avalokitesvara ,  is depicted as having one thousand hands and eyes with which to see and respond to suffering.   Central to Avalokitesvara’s name is the word “lok” or “look”.   To see, t...

There was no trace of seeking, desiring, imitating, or striving, only light and peace ~ Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha Don’t just do something, sit there! ~ Sylvia Boorstein, in her book by the same name Many people come into my office feeling despondent for reasons they do not immediately recognize.  Then they uncover a connection to having been bullied by parents, partners or employers, at work, in the school yard, at home or, nowadays, online. Their reaction is usually some combination of feelings of shame, helplessness, anger and despair.  They feel intense frustration and often become rage-filled when recalling how they were stuck in a situation in which they felt hopelessly tormented, diminished and abused. One young man expressed it like this: No matter what I did, the bullying would continue.  Day after day after fucking day, they would pick on me.  They would stop for a while, and that would be a blessed reprieve, but then they would start up again....