compassionate compass

We are asleep with compasses in our hands

~W.S. Merwin

I just realized that the words compass and compassion are only three letters apart.

They mean different things of course.  The word compass means to circle or go around, and comes from the Latin com ("with") + pass  ("a step"). The word compassion means to feel for someone else's suffering, and comes from com ("with") + passion  ("pati").  Both are ways of moving with, and being moved by, a person or situation; both are ways to orient ourselves.

How different are these orientations in fact?

A compass is set to be magnetized to true north.  Compassion resonates with others' feelings. Both are ways to find oneself.  Or lose oneself.  Or maybe finding and losing oneself are the same thing!

Setting our minds and hearts on something outside of ourselves, we find a path and direction.

Love yourself as your neighbor

~Love your neighbor as yourself  (Mark 12:31)

We applaud people who run out to save a child from an oncoming school bus, or rescue old ladies from thugs, or run into a burning building to save a dog or cat or a person.  They risk their lives for others and we praise them for their altruism.  We think of them as heros. 

But are they?

Altruism comes from the word "alter" (other).  Altruists are other-centered in their actions.  But when asked what they were thinking and why they did what they did, the altruist invariably says something like,  "I didn't even think; I just did what I had to".  They felt compelled to do it. 

What exactly is so heroic about that?  Isn't altruism just as compulsive and blind to potentially self-destructive consequences as self-centered acts like self-mutilation or drug addiction?

Of course it is wonderful to help others avert disaster when we can.  But why is it better to be other-centered than self-centered?  Or put our lives at risk?  Isn't each human life of equal value?  If we attempt to rescue a drowning person who pulls us under, get hit by a car and get killed with the kid, burn to a crisp because we didn't have enough oxygen to make it outof the fire... where is the merit?  I did it because I "had to"? 

Maybe inside every altruist is a self-righteous self-effacing co-dependent... a fake hero who, in truth, simply feels compelled to act in other-centered ways.  I think I may be one of those!  

The dictum quoted above urges us to love our neighbours as ourselves, and that is good; but every life is worth saving, including our own.  

I suspect that many altruists need to love themselves as much as their neighbours and maybe learn to be a little less cocky about their heroism.