Reflections

Hiding is a way of staying alive ~ David Whyte What is denial?   That invisible impenetrable wall against feeling, unmoved by the urgings of reason, emotion, conscience, love or pain… A form of willful blindness?   Of ostracism?   Banishment from awareness? No.   It is much stealthier than that, creeping up like nature’s hand upon the throat, muting responsiveness in the face of sometimes passionate resistance, a denial we mistake for equanimity when it is really the megaphone of our own silent authority drowning out all opposition and whose effect is nothing short of devastating.   Denial has no choice. Like a blindspot.   When eyes that are open perceive yet cannot see the light or the spot denied light.   They just see what they see, manifesting as the oil and canvas of our own mis-givings.

What is the difference between anger, aggression, attacks and abuse?   Anger is an emotion , the feel of an experience, a state of mind. It is neither good nor bad, but usually has negative effects on the person feeling it, and is associated with the colour red (love with pink, jealousy with green).  It can be expressed safely to others using an I-statement: “I am angry that you said that”.   As long as the separateness of another person is respected, as long as anger is expressed TO and not AT another person, anger can be shared without hurting someone else. Aggression is anger expressed AT another person.   Aggression hurts others.   Overt aggression is conveyed in ways that are usually obvious, whether verbally or physically, as jabs or punches.   Covertly it is usually expressed by acts of omission, silence or other forms of passive aggression .   Though aggression may hurt others, it is not necessarily aimed at or intended to hurt...

Beware of Buddhism.   Although it may present as a “horizontal” philosophy of compassion, Buddhism, like most religions, disguises a “vertical” masculine superiority complex that views physical and emotional vulnerability as suffering, reduces intellectual complexity to rational confusion, and encourages transcendence of our messy human condition through solitary meditation, yoga, martial arts and other practices divorced from meaningful interaction with others.  I ntended to liberate us from the bonds of being human , these practices sometimes even use others to attain higher levels of personal freedom .   Make no mistake: Buddhism is a self-centered theory of personal empowerment that worships virility, power and domination, leaving little room for real others or real compassion.   It is basically a discipline which aims to obliterate itself by focusing on itself . Is it any wonder so many “unfettered” Buddhist teachers turn out to be abusive ? ...