Reflections

Even if my skin should parch even if my hand should wither even if my bones should crumble into dust, until I have attained the truth I shall not move from this seat . Thus spoke the Buddha on the eve of his awakening. He had been following the example of ascetics and had endured five years of mental and physical deprivation, believing that austerity was the path to freedom. But it was not. He only became more confused and distraught. Then along came a woman by the name of Sujata who offered him milk and rice which he took to satisfy his hunger and, all at once, he was invigorated and, as the next day dawned, came to full awakening. This story teaches us that perseverance is important but not to the point of extremism. Extremism is just another trap engaging the mind in battle and leading to more suffering. No matter how hard we try to free ourselves, trying is not the way out. The way out is the way out. Respecting our capacity enables us to find it.

Look at the theatre masks. The smile turned upside down is a frown, and the grimace a grin; the same muscles contract in different directions. Now imagine the sound each makes; the sound of laughter or sobbing. They sound similar too except that laughing is “drier” like an explosion of fiery air, whereas sobbing is “wet” like the gushing of a dam when it breaks. Although laughing and sobbing move energy in different directions*, they both release tension from the solar plexus and are accompanied by convulsions of the diaphragm and the shedding of heat and often tears. They both split us open. That is why we say that something tragic causes us to “break up” or “burst into tears”, and that something very funny is “side-splitting”, or “cracks us up”. Like a kernel of popcorn that explodes with the heat, the fine shell that holds us together gives way. It is a form of deliverance or catharsis . But what am I delivered from? What laughs when I laugh? What cries when I cry? And why is it tha...

Experts identify waves or stages of mourning that manifest as different thoughts and feelings, but their models fail to acknowledge that these waves arise within a greater ocean that is not an emotion but a prolonged state of shock. Although loss precipitates all kinds of emotional reactions, grief itself is not one. Rather, it is the background of them all, the agonizing sense that something vital has gone missing or been stolen, as the etymology of bereavement (from be + reafian "rob, plunder") suggests. John Bowlby studied loss and attachment very closely. In an institutional setting where toddlers were separated from their mothers for extended periods, he and his colleague James Robertson observed how a lively, healthy child gradually moves from a state of agitation to ornery rebellion to, finally, a state of complete despondency when he loses all hope of his mother's return. The team collated their findings into a poignant documentary called A two-year-old goes to ho...

Whatever you encounter, either within or without, slay it at once: on meeting a buddha slay the buddha ~Linji I meet the Buddha everywhere in the solemnity of sangha ritual in my own sitting reverent in my feigned humility before my teacher in my desiring heart’s desire craving, thirsting Buddha everywhere Buddha! God, Father, Robber on the road You drop me to my knees fearful and trembling Now that I’ve raised You up I’ll spit on you “Buddha is a shit stick” “Kill the Buddha” Say NO to Buddha That's what the masters say

The Fifth Vow Before those who walk with me And those who have already walked Before all beings living and non-living Before my teacher Who has lit the way: I vow this day to stay awake Body, speech and mind For the rest of my life That every one of my breaths sustain the rising sun Of perfect awareness, That every step I take be humble as a bow, That I know each moment to be the expression of complete wholeness, Sure of this Light that nothing can extinguish Because it has shined since before the beginning of time, That fear and uncertainty crumple like paper in the flames Of this most precious gift: To stay awake I devote myself entirely and with gratitude To unceasingly fulfill the four vows. Le cinquième vœu Devant vous qui cheminez avec moi Devant tous ceux qui ont cheminé avant nous Devant tous les êtres, Devant mon maître Qui a éclairé la voie: Je fais vœu aujourd’hui de rester éveillée De parole, de corps et d’esprit, Pour le reste de mes jours : Que chacun de mes souffles ...

Tired with all these, for restful death I cry, As to behold desert a beggar born ~ William Shakespeare I am now capable of feeling humiliated, vexed, without any other feeling in me than the feeling of this state, and of remaining there motionless, my understanding having wiped out my reflex attempts at flight. ~Hubert Benoit  What should I do when I have been humiliated, violated or disgraced by someone else’s actions? Does it make any difference whether the action was intentional, or not? Objectively, there isn’t any difference. That is why, from a karmic point of view, one is responsible for the consequences of even unconscious actions. Subjectively, however, at the level of intentionality, there is a difference. When a harmful action is undertaken knowingly or, worse, deliberately, then, in addition to being responsible for its consequences, one is morally accountable as well. When I trip over someone’s foot, it is relatively easy for me to pick myself up, brush off the incide...

The torch of chaos and doubt -- this is what the sage steers by. (Chuang Tzu) Homage to all seekers! A prayer for sesshin Lord, have mercy, give me Doubt! That my cup o’erfloweth with the fire of my own thirst Until I am thoroughly drenched with my own torment Bewildered but unlost The ship the shout the step away From One divided Amidst the bedlam and confusion Into the gap between exile and home Pray I hear The sound of silence Sing the ocean’s silver starried hush And be myself The hallowed hum of OM